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Viewers also meet a dildo designer with a creative imagination and learn that by the age of 60 the average male will have issued between 30 and 50 quarts of semen.

The documentary ends with a clip from the House of Commons question period in which an opposition MP questions the use of tax subsidies to help fund this production.

It was written and directed by Michael McNamara and aired previously on the Discovery Health Channel.

Penis Dementia will be followed by Stacked Like Me, a followup to an earlier documentary, Flat Like Me, produced by McNamara and Judy Holm for Markham Street Films.

The new film looks at buxom women and how they cope - few surprises here.

Large-breasted women, the film says, suffer discomfort, mockery and not being taken seriously.

On the other hand they often enjoy free drinks in bars.

"Who hasn't had to spend a Valentine's Day with television as their date at some point?

" asks Vanessa Case, a Life Network vice-president who says the two documentaries offer a stimulating and entertaining look "at how men and women honour their bodies no matter what the size of the parts." Other Valentine's programming: National Geographic Channel: Wild Sex Day is a six-part series on animal mating habits with episodes airing back-to-back Sunday afternoon.

Viewers learn about the urge that dwells within every creature from dolphins t...

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